Over at Dispatches from the Culture Wars Tegumai Bopsulai, FCD left a comment linking to this hysterical news item. I’m sure Tegumai wanted Ed to blog about it but I couldn’t resist because of the mindnumbing contradiction that comes almost at the end of the story. Chuck Norris is suing Penguin Books because:
The book capitalizes on “mythical facts” that have been circulating on the Internet since 2005 that poke fun at Norris’ tough-guy image and super-human abilities, the suit said.
It includes such humorous “facts” as “Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried” and “Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits,” the suit said, as well as “Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard.”
“Some of the ‘facts’ in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities,” the lawsuit alleges.
In the second to last paragraph we get the following contradiction:
Norris, whose real name is Carlos Ray Norris, claims in the suit he is protective of what his name is associated with. He has recently made U.S. headlines for backing Republican presidential candidate former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.
Damn, now I need a new irony meter…
Chuck Norris wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=EjYv2YW6azE Huck Chuck Facts endorsement
I think it’s time to start a “Chuck Norris is a such a pussy …” counter-meme. I’ll start …
Chuck Norris is such a fan of “The Love Boat” that he actually has a full size replica of the ship’s bar in his Beverly Hills mansion, complete with token African-American bartender.
Oh dear. Should I be worried?
Bob
Oh dear. Should I be worried?
Bob
Oh dear. Should I be worried?
Bob
The irony increases if you actually view the Norris/Huckabee ad. It interperses Norris saying nice things about Huckabee with Huckabee reciting some of those “Chuck Norris ‘facts’.”
For comparison: Hustler Magazine v. Falwell
Ed gets around to blogging this, but doesn’t have a whole lot to say.