OMG! Stupid Creationist Argument of the Day!

This takes the cake. There is a war between believers and unbelievers because well, read:

I believe that there is another way to approach this fight. Assuming that the ID hypothesis is correct, one can argue that, since humans are the dominant species on earth, the designers must have had a special interest in us when they began their project. My hypothesis is that they are conducting an experiment, the purpose of which is to distinguish between believers and deniers. Given their vast intellect, it is certain that they anticipated the current conflict. If so, it is highly likely that they would have left us a secret message, a message so powerful that its mere publication would cause the collapse of the materialist fortress.

Where, oh where, is this message from the designer(s)? Read on:

Consider that there are lots of mysterious symbolic passages in the Bible that Christians have a hard time interpreting. But what if those passages are actual coded messages for our age, the age of enlightenment? This has been my thesis and the subject of my research for the last eight years or so. I have identified a few passages in the books of Revelation and Zechariah as having to do with intelligence and the human brain. I believe that the Bible contains the secret of intelligence among other things. It is still work in progress but already I have made a few breakthroughs. I recently posted a couple of falsifiable predictions about the human cerebellum. My goal is to use my understanding of the metaphorical texts to design and build a true artificial intelligence. The Christian AI! It is only a matter of time. When that happens, the Darwinian walls will come crumbling down like the old walls of Jericho.

Waterloo! Jericho! How come I get the mental image of some mad creationist, drooling and cackling over his bible in his secret hideout (read parents basement)? Perhaps he can submit his research to the ARJ, because this is better than anything the Precambrian ArchaeologistTM can come up with.
(Hat tip to Bob O’H)
Update 1: Lynch has a post that parallels (but ultimately diverges in a different direction) my own. He even has a picture of a mad scientist (I was going to photoshop a Lolcat with a tinfoil hat making some appropriately snarky comment).

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20 Responses

  1. I also love how they assume that “humans are the dominant species on earth”. Uhh…how about not really? We may be the most intelligent (as far as we can tell), but we are all dominated by bacteria and other micro-organisms who are the ones that truly shape the face of the planet, and our own existence.

  2. I predict he will turn up and laugh at you. BTW, my post also mentions ARJ, but I hadn’t realized you had brought it up as a venue. Apologies for any convergent evolution.

  3. What if those difficult passages were coded messages for The Spanish Inquisition, and the effort failed badly? This is entirely plausible, for the short story, the novel, and the epic had yet to be invented yet — and the same goes for chick-flicks, sitcoms, buddy movies, hardboiled detective novels, murder mysteries, and comic crime novels, comic books, and graphic novels.
    BTW, wouldn’t an all-knowing all-powerful being already know the outcome of the experiment before it was started? That’d be like playing 14 billion years of Concentration against yourself when it would be impossible for you not to cheat.

  4. John – I prefer to think of it as you duplicating the DNA and evolving in a new direction.
    Justin – Clearly the man has not read Adams and therefore doesn’t realize that mice and dolphins are the dominant lifeforms on the planet.
    WTFWJD – yeah the idea that the meaning of life is about a sociological experiment about belief and non-belief is absurd.

  5. Tinfoil hats? Oh, I can do better than that. How about DaveScot modelling the latest in crank fashion.
    Bob

  6. Tinfoil hats? Oh, I can do better than that. How about DaveScot modelling the latest in crank fashion.
    Bob

  7. Tinfoil hats? Oh, I can do better than that. How about DaveScot modelling the latest in crank fashion.
    Bob

  8. Afarensis,
    I agree, we’re in a sociological experiment regarding the psychological and physiological effects of being excessively compliant to authority.

  9. I take it he can read Greek. Looking for “coded messages” in a translation (of a copy of a copy of a copy, etc) would be a fool’s errand.

  10. No, because, you see, like, The Designer-who-we-can’t-call-God-but-we-all-really-know-it’s-God came into King James’ head and perfectly maded the King James Version into divinely divined divinishness in English, no less. And stuff. So you could totally read the super sekrit proffiseas in English.
    I’m being goofy, but that is a real creationist argument under there.

  11. No, because, you see, like, The Designer-who-we-can’t-call-God-but-we-all-really-know-it’s-God came into King James’ head and perfectly maded the King James Version into divinely divined divinishness in English, no less. And stuff. So you could totally read the super sekrit proffiseas in English.
    I’m being goofy, but that is a real creationist argument under there.

  12. Isn’t his idea self-contradictory? If Earth was some kind of experiment as he proposes, the idea of a message would make the whole experiment meaningless; sort of like telling people in a psychology experiment what it’s about before it’s finished would change their behavior.

  13. Sounds like Butters is up to his Professor Chaos tricks again.

  14. The above is an argument?
    Anne G

  15. The above is an argument?
    Anne G

    It’s an approximation of an argument, in the same way that a rock with feathers taped to it is an approximation of an airplane.

  16. I also love how they assume that “humans are the dominant species on earth”. Uhh…how about not really? We may be the most intelligent (as far as we can tell), but we are all dominated by bacteria and other micro-organisms who are the ones that truly shape the face of the planet, and our own existence.
    Posted by: Justin Wagner | January 13, 2008 7:56 PM
    Ya, I have heard what the tonnage of insects totals for the whole planet is. Can’t remember how high it was but it was really mind numbing!
    Dave Briggs :~)

  17. Does the secret message seeker’s mother know he’s communicating with adults on the internet? Alan W

  18. I think he’s been spending too much time reading “Fingerprints of the Gods” by Graham Hancock, who also believes that “the ancients” (but not the same ones as those who wrote the Bible) were leaving us coded messages in stories and myths. If all of these ancients were so amazingly smart, why not just write it down clearly? Why put in code?
    Also, there are bits of the Bible that talk about intelligence and the human brain? Amazing! I bet no one noticed anything about either of those before they were written into the Bible. It seems to have escaped this guy’s notice that Jesus (you know, the guy the New Testament is all about?) didn’t talk about science, including evolution, at all, and Revelations is pretty much all a fever dream.

  19. If it wasn’t for the fact that some idiots like this hold public office / are allowed to vote, this would be very entertaining.
    How can anyone think we are designed is beyond me? What designer would put the waste disposal next to the play park?

  20. If it wasn’t for the fact that some idiots like this hold public office / are allowed to vote, this would be very entertaining.
    How can anyone think we are designed is beyond me? What designer would put the waste disposal next to the play park?

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