afarensis’ First Ever, Vile, Wicked, Christmas Songs I Hate Contest

There are a number of Christmas songs out there. Some of them are wonderful, others make me want to hurl because of the contrived, sappy, melodrama. So I decided to have a contest (be warned, there are no prizes). Submit the X-mas songs that you never want to hear again (preferably with a link and whatever snarky comments you think appropriate), then I’ll create a list and we will vote on the worst of the worst. Again, there are no prizes, and your sole reward is the satisfaction of having participated in the “War on Christmas”*


Here are my three submissions. The first is about that hateful little boy out conning people out of shoe money while his mother is dying in the hospital:

The second. “Lock and Load” said Santa with a bloodthirsty gleam in his eye, and I knew before long some infidels would die…

The third comes, shockingly, from Paul McCartney:

Not one of Sir Paul’s better efforts.
Anyway, those are my three. What about you?
* I have been personally assured by Santa that participants will not be penalized as there are some Christmas songs that make Santa want to hurl too…

6 Responses

  1. Mistletoe and Wine by Cliff Richard


    It’s one of the few songs I know which could actually be improved by converting it to muzak. Indeed any Cliff Richard Christmas song awful. His gift to the world was to announce he wouldn’t release any more Christmas singles.

  2. I sure do hate the hagiography of soldiers. People need to realize that soldiers are nothing but regular people,not saints.

  3. I really do hate that shoe-begging one. Ick Ick Ick.
    Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer is pretty bad, too. I know it’s supposed to be ‘funny bad’, but it still gets played too much.

  4. Jingle Bells
    I’m dreaming of a White Christmas. (Bing Crosby? yuk!)
    O Christmas Tree (Tannenbaum)

  5. Well, there’s lots of bad Xmas songs. My favorite good one is “The Night Santa Went Crazy” by Weird Al.

  6. Sorry I arrived late for the party.
    Away in a Manger, Yuk!

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